I ate yesterday. In my mind that's naughty and I feel really guilty. But, in your mind that's the right thing to do. Anorexia (Ana) is telling me that I did a bad thing and I believe it. I don't know how I'm ever going to recover if I keep believing what Ana tells me to do. I wish my head worked differently. I cried yesterday thinking this act was wrong. If I went back to the day when Ana did not taunt me, I'd be happy I ate yesterday. My mind is telling me to starve today since I ate yesterday. I'm thinking about doing it. If I do it, I'm weak. I pray to God that my being will not let Ana stomp all over it. I'm thinking to myself was this act of eating Naughty or Nice, the fact that my mind is infected with Anorexic Thoughts does not help at all.
AnaLovesNneka
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Anorexia: Not a Fairytale
Hello. I'm Nneka. I am 12 years old and I have Anorexia. I know what your thinking. "She's so young!" Yeah you should tell Ana that. She has been taunting me for a few months now and I am determined for it to stop before those months turn into years. Anorexia is NOT a Fairytale as i hear some girls say, anorexia is the opposite of that. I feel lonely, like it's me against the world.... and the world is winning. I feel fat, if you ask me what my biggest pet peeve is I'll say the fat on my thighs. I'm weak and I'm tired. I'm cold. I wish i could be happy just one more time. I hate the feeling of sadness and despair. I never felt this way before. I cry more often than i should, cry like I've never cried before. But, anorexia isn't only sadness. It takes on a physical toll on you too. I haven't been able to sleep, my teeth is turning yellow and, the stomach pains are almost unbearable. I'm surprised at myself because I spit out lies left and right all the time. This is only the beggining of it, there is so much more.
AnaLovesNneka
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